The Attack of the Sporks!
by ForgottenKaze
Summary: A very demented story about cuetlery in the feudal era. Don't want to spoil it! My attempt to be very random. Please R


The Attack of the Sporks!

This is just some random, demented story that I made up during lunch. If you are deprived enough to not know what a spork is, it is a cross between a fork and a spoon.

I own nothing but the plot, my manga, anime and mini-bento box.

"Hey Inuyasha, do you know when Kagome is supposed to be back?" Shippou wondered out loud to the Hanyou.

"Uh… I think she said she would be back by now…" Inuyasha replied.

Shippou sighed. "Since she's taking so long, I hope she brings us some yummy treats!"

"Yeah, how about I go…" Inuyasha had no time to complete his sentence. He smelled Kagome! "I'm gonna go see what took her so long!" he exclaimed, leaping toward the well.

"Hey Kagome!" he called when he arrived.

"Hi Inuyasha!" she called back energetically. "I have some ninja food, bento boxes and some stuff you haven't tried yet.!"

"All right! Let's go back to the hut and share eat!" he cried, but he knew not to say that he wanted it all for himself. If he said that, he knew he would not get any, even if they had done it to him once. (A/N: See episode 72 about that.)

"Hey guys!" Kagome called out upon entering the hut.

"Hey Kagome-chan!" Sango called back.

"Ah, Kagome-sama," Miroku murmured.

"I brought you some new stuff to try out!"

"Yay!" Shippou cried, like a four year old on sugar. Actually, he _is_ a four-year-old, me thinks.

"Here," Kagome said, emptying a thermos of warm noodles and another of sauce onto five plates.

"This is called spaghetti," she explained. "The noodles come from China, on the continent, and the sauce is from a country called Italy, in Europe."

"So, do we eat it with chop sticks?" Miroku wondered.

"No. I brought some western cutlery," Kagome exclaimed joyfully.

"'Kay then…" Inuyasha muttered. "Do you have some of that… whatever you called it?"

"Yeah, here it is!" she said as she reached into her bag and brought out a wooden box.

"Hmm? That's strange…" Kagome murmured a moment later.

"What's wrong?" Inuyasha said threw a mouth full of spaghetti, which he was eating with his hands. (O.o)

"I knew I had some knives, forks and spoons, but now…" she showed them the box. It was empty.

"Huh, that's strange…" Sango remarked softly.

Just then, the gang heard a yell from outside.

"Priestess Kaede! Priestess Kaede!" a villager called. "Come quick!"

Kaede sighed and stood up. Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, Sango and Miroku stood up as well.

"What is the meaning of this?" Kaede asked calmly once outside.

"Kaede-sama! It's terrible! Metal creations have come to life and are trying to destroy all of the chopsticks! They must be possessed!" the villager cried.

The gang looked at each other. Surely… Kagome's cutlery could not have come alive?!

"Show us! We can destroy whatever has possessed them," Sango assured.

"Come!"

At the village, a scene of utter devastation and carnage met their eyes. The straw doors of many of the houses were destroyed, there were many holes in the walls and there were pieces of chopsticks everywhere.

"Oh… my… God…" Kagome said, shocked.

"Yeah, this is pretty strange," Inuyasha growled softly. Sango readied her weapon.

"Kaede-sama, do you have a pair of chopsticks?" Miroku asked the village priestess.

"Indeed I do," the old woman replied, pulling a pair out of nowhere. "What are ye using them for?"

"Bait," the monk answered. No sooner than he had said this, a rushing sound was heard and tons of small voices called: "Doom on the chopsticks! Doom on the chopsticks! Doom on the chopsticks! Death to all chopsticks! Death to all chopsticks! Death to all chopsticks! Kill the chopsticks! Kill the chopsticks! Kill the chopsticks!"

"What the hell?!" Inuyasha demanded as a hundred or so small, metal objects appeared. "What in the hells are they?"

The objects suddenly stopped their chant and formed a circle around Inuyasha, Kaede, and the gang. What could only be taken as their leader stepped forward.

"We are the Almighty sporks. Revere and bow down to us!" it commanded.

"Like hell we will!" Inuyasha said, pulling Tetsuaiga out.

"Then give us your chopsticks or your lives!"

"Cheeky little bastards!"

"Hold your tongue, or you will find you will have nothing to hold."

"Kirara! Go get –" but Sango had no time to finish as they all heard a strange moo-ing sound and a three eyed cow on a cloud randomly appeared and alighted next to the surrounded group. And on it, it's master, Toutousai the sword smith.

"Oh, Toutousai!" Inuyasha called, as if greeting an old friend. Which he was, but that isn't the point. "Great timing!" he said as he took the chopsticks from Miroku. "As you can probably see, we have a little problem. Would you be so kind as to take these?" he handed Toutousai the two strips of wood.

"Huh? And what would I do with these things?" Toutousai asked quizzically as he took them.

Inuyasha was about to reply when the sporks began their earlier chant.

"Hmmm…" the old man seemed to think about this predicament for a moment and then asked: "What kind of metal are they?"

"Uh, their stainless steal…" Kagome said, blinking rapidly at the strange question.

"I see…" he closed his eyes for a moment. "I suppose I could take them off your hands and melt them down into something…"

"Oh, thank you! Thank you!" the villagers cried.

"Come on Momo! Giddy up!" Toutousai yelled.

"He has the sticks! He has the sticks! We must get him! Death to all chopsticks!" the sporks called as they followed Toutousai into the air.

As the sporks ran behind him (in mid-air) Toutousai called over his shoulder: "They will never bother you agaaaaaiiiiiin!" and disappeared into a star.

And everybody cheered.

The End 

In case you didn't realise it, this is my attempt to be random. If I failed, blame…the llama song! Yeah, the llama song… Right (nodes)… But I'm serious, **_REVIEW_** or else I will feel hated and useless and commit suicide! JK, but I'm serious about the reviewing thing.


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